Inspiration...

Just a few photos and things that inspire me in this journey....

-my family- they are a constant support.. I cannot thank them enough for being my constant strength and joy. My brother who consistently kicks my ass and encourages me. You are my inspiration.

-My friends- for loving me yesterday, today and tomorrow... you are beautiful

-My Ryan- for believing in me when I do not have the strength to believe in myself..

#eatclean

I have fallen in love with the website pinterst... it is so easy to find awesome eating clean ideas and anything really.. I have found some great recipies and decided to make a few this week...

Behold.. no bake energy balls and baked oatmeal to go cups.... super cheap and super delicious.

Here are the recipies of the no bake energy balls I made, and the oatmeal to go bakes: Enjoy!

No-Bake Energy Bites

(makes 18-20 bites)

1 cup oatmeal

1/2 cup peanut butter (or other nut butter)

1/3 cup honey

1 cup coconut flakes

1/2 cup ground flaxseed

1/2 cup mini chocolate chips

1 tsp vanilla

Mix everything above in a medium bowl until thoroughly incorporated. Let chill in the refrigerator for half an hour. Once chilled, roll into balls and enjoy! Store in an airtight container and keep refrigerated for up to 1 week. I froze mine so they last longer!

PERSONAL SIZE BAKES OATMEAL TO GO

Ingredients

• 2 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2 cups applesauce, unsweetened
• 1 banana, mashed
• 1/2 cup honey

• 5 cups, Old Fashioned rolled oats { I used Bob’s Red Mill}
• 1/4 cup flaxseed meal
• 1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
• 3 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 3/4 cups milk (I used 1%)
• Optional toppings: raisins, walnuts, chocolate chips

Nutrition Info (without toppings)
Servings: 18* Calories: 143* Fat: 4g* Cholesterol: 25mg* Sodium: 32mg* Fiber: 4g* Sugars: 4g* Carbs: 23g* Protein: 6g*
Using the Weight Watchers Recipe Builder Points+: 3*
Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Mix eggs, vanilla, applesauce, banana and Stevia together in a bowl.
3. Add in oats, flax, cinnamon, baking powder, salt and mix well with wet ingredients.
4. Finally pour in milk and combine.
5. Spray a 12 and 6 capacity muffin tin with cooking spray or use cupcake liners.
   Pour mixture evenly into muffin tin cups.
6. If using toppings add them onto the tops of muffins now. If using fresh or frozen fruit, drop it right into the batter.
7. Bake 30 minutes until a toothpick in center comes out clean. Cool and enjoy or freeze them in gallon freezer bags

My Fitness Pal

I love the website http://www.myfitnesspal.com/ ... it helps me keep track of everything I eat in a day, the caloric intake in the foods I eat and the progress I am making. I have been using fitness pal on and off for the last year and in total since using it I have lost 65 pounds. I have gained some of that back, but am back loosing again since going onto the eat clean program. I am down an additional 15 pounds since starting the eat clean plan. I have not been as strict as I would like to be... but my body is feeling alot better and I am noticing the difference between when I eat clean and when I do not. So I feel like that is progress.

Also.. I am going back to the gym tomorrow! For the first time since I hurt my leg! I am SO excited! I only be going weight training and upper body cardio though so that I do not injure my leg while it is steal healing.... a small step in the right direction! YAY!

I am NOT broken

Yes I struggle with emotional eating....

Yes, every day is a struggle to choose foods that are good for me, and re train my brain after 26 year of thinking one way about food to look at it as fuel for my body...

Yes, every day I struggle with my self worth and body image...

Yes, there are days that I do not know who I am...

Yes, somedays I feel powerless, and defeated and lost..

But NO.. I am not broken... and NO I will not stop fighting. Say what you want, judge me however you want.. I know my short comings better than anyone else and I am learning every single day to be okay with them.

Rabbit Food

Well... to be honest I have eaten crap this weekend... I started back to work and got tired and thus let myself eat things that are not exactly eat clean friendly. I still tried my best to choose healthier options, such as grilled chicken instead of fried.

I have been struggeling since going back to work with my leg, it swells alot when I work and I am pretty exhausted by the end of the day. I am going to see my doctor tomorrow to ensure that the infection is not returning AGAIN. I am left feeling very frustrated as I feel like I am trying my best to foster healing and it is not working.

Today, I am back on eating super clean- breakfast was my egg whites, banana and flax cereal

and lunch was a lovely combo of rabbit food:

Carrots, spinach, baby cucumber, almonds, walnuts and apple cider vinegar as dressing, 4 dried apricots on the side and blueberry greek yogurt for desert and lots of water.

I must admit I am getting used to the rabbit food...

Breakfast of champions

Breakfast of champions- haha. Banana's and blueberries with organic flax cereal, almond milk and egg whites. YUM (340 cals)

Motivation compliments of my bestie Jen:

My biggest struggle to date: My want for sugar in my coffee and trying to break the habit that eating out in restaurant is my social life. Trying to re train myself to not have the desire to have an appy everytime I go to a pub or restaurant with friends.

My biggest accomplishment to date: I have lost 47 pounds and I feel a lot happier and healthier already

Really want a coke.

I allow myself 2 cheat meals a week. Last night I ate Indian food for one of my cheat meals... butter chicken and nann bread and okra masala. It nearly killed me. The sauce too creamy, the bread too dense. I will NOT be doing that again.

Chose to make a meat free meal this evening for supper to be kind to my body after what I punished it with last night:


Spinach and mushroom salad (no dressing), corn on the cob and homemade sweet potato fries (sweet potato cut into shoe strings and baked in the oven at 400 degrees with nothing but some olive oil spray on them) for 45 minutes. The topping is plain Greek yogurt with lemon juice and Cayenne pepper. (290 cals).  YUM.

Not going to lie, the meal was pretty dam delicious but I could totally go for a glass of coke right now. Green tea instead.