My Fitness Pal

I love the website http://www.myfitnesspal.com/ ... it helps me keep track of everything I eat in a day, the caloric intake in the foods I eat and the progress I am making. I have been using fitness pal on and off for the last year and in total since using it I have lost 65 pounds. I have gained some of that back, but am back loosing again since going onto the eat clean program. I am down an additional 15 pounds since starting the eat clean plan. I have not been as strict as I would like to be... but my body is feeling alot better and I am noticing the difference between when I eat clean and when I do not. So I feel like that is progress.

Also.. I am going back to the gym tomorrow! For the first time since I hurt my leg! I am SO excited! I only be going weight training and upper body cardio though so that I do not injure my leg while it is steal healing.... a small step in the right direction! YAY!

I am NOT broken

Yes I struggle with emotional eating....

Yes, every day is a struggle to choose foods that are good for me, and re train my brain after 26 year of thinking one way about food to look at it as fuel for my body...

Yes, every day I struggle with my self worth and body image...

Yes, there are days that I do not know who I am...

Yes, somedays I feel powerless, and defeated and lost..

But NO.. I am not broken... and NO I will not stop fighting. Say what you want, judge me however you want.. I know my short comings better than anyone else and I am learning every single day to be okay with them.

Rabbit Food

Well... to be honest I have eaten crap this weekend... I started back to work and got tired and thus let myself eat things that are not exactly eat clean friendly. I still tried my best to choose healthier options, such as grilled chicken instead of fried.

I have been struggeling since going back to work with my leg, it swells alot when I work and I am pretty exhausted by the end of the day. I am going to see my doctor tomorrow to ensure that the infection is not returning AGAIN. I am left feeling very frustrated as I feel like I am trying my best to foster healing and it is not working.

Today, I am back on eating super clean- breakfast was my egg whites, banana and flax cereal

and lunch was a lovely combo of rabbit food:

Carrots, spinach, baby cucumber, almonds, walnuts and apple cider vinegar as dressing, 4 dried apricots on the side and blueberry greek yogurt for desert and lots of water.

I must admit I am getting used to the rabbit food...